A Bedtime Story
by Night Alchemist
Summary: Havoc and Breda babysit Mustang and Hawkeye's son and have to tell him a bedtime story...


**Babysitting Nightmare**

"Okay, we've done everything, besides put him into bed." Breda said to Havoc.

"Won't he need a bedtime story?"

"Well, yeah, I guess..." they walked into the bedroom where James was already in bed.

"Hello!" the eight year old kid said.

"Hi." Havoc said nervously.

"Pssst, what story are we going to tell him?" Breda whispered.

"I know just the thing!" Havoc said and retrieved a porno magazine from his bag. "There should be a story in here!"

Breda smacked him upside the head and hid the magazine.

"Uncle Havoc, Uncle Breda . . .I've already read that one!"

_'I'm going to have to have a talk with the chief about this kid.' _Havoc thought to himself. He was brought out of his thoughts when Breda elbowed him and whispered, "I don't know any stories, you tell him one?"

"Hey, I don't know any either!" Havoc whispered back.

"Then make one up!"

"Okay..." he thought about it for a moment, and began his story.

"Once upon the time in Amestris lived a Colonel. He was a good colonel but he was a pervert that always took my girlfriends," Havoc began. Breda elbowed him again. "Fine" Havoc mumbled. "Also in Amestris lived a female Lieutenant. She was scary and carried a huge gun. All the men were afraid of her. Even the Colonel."

"COOL! THAT SOUNDS LIKE MY MOM!" said James.

_'If the kid only knew' _Breda thought

"Well one day, the Lieutenant, and I were walking the Colonel to the doctor's because he was a little bit crazy that day, and we wanted to know if he would ever be sane again." He paused for a moment as Breda looked at him in a strange way.

"So we where walking along the hallway, when the colonel started to say 'On the day that I become fuehrer, all women will be required to wear- TINY MINISKIRTS!' Well after he said that, _in front of the Lieutenant , _I was sure that he was crazy! So the Lieutenant was drawing her gun about to shoot the Colonel, when I jumped on him so that he landed on the ground just in time to avoid the bullets!"

"Wow that's one cool story, but I'm still awake!"

_'Almost as stubborn as Roy..' _Breda thought. Havoc poked him and whispered

"Your turn for a story."  
"Okay, okay, okay." Breda smiled an evil smile as he thought of a story.

"Okay, here's what _really_ happened."

_'Oh no! He wouldn't...'_ Havoc thought.

"Well he got some of it right, but I'll tell you the real story, okay?"

"Okay!" James said.

"Once upon the time in Amestris lived a Colonel. He was a good colonel but he was a pervert that always took Havoc's girlfriends, but also in Amestris lived a Female Lieutenant. She was scary and carried a huge gun. All the men were afraid of her. Even the Colonel."

"That's what Havoc said! Get to the good stuff!"

"Okay, well one day, the Lieutenant, Havoc, and I where walking the Colonel to the office to get his long awaited promotion. And the Colonel was so excited, he said 'On the day that I become fuehrer, all female officers will be required to wear- TINY MINISKIRTS!' Now, since Havoc here hadn't had a girlfriend in a long time, he had gone a little bit crazy, so at this exiting news, he went and hump- I mean _hugged_ the Colonel's leg!"

"Really?"

"Yup, that's what really happened!"

"No that's not what really happened." Roy walked into the room.

"DAD!" James said with a huge smile.

"R-Roy? When did you get here?" Breda said.

"Right before Havoc started telling his...fairy tale. Now here's what really happened. Once upon the time in Amestris lived a Colonel. He was a good colonel, and he had a goal! A Goal to rule Amestris. And to take all of Havoc's girlfriends, also in Amestris lived a Beautiful, female Lieutenant. She was scary and carried a hand gun. All the men were afraid of her. But on this day, the Lieutenant was being really annoying, so I was thinking 'What could I do to make her angry?' so the thing that I thought of was: On the day I become fuehrer, all female officers are required to wear TINY MINISKIRTS! Oh and then Havoc did hug my leg which was really weird and made me wonder if I really was the reason for him getting dumped by women."

"Wait, _you_ were the colonel? You were the one who said that? And I bet mom was the female Lieutenant!" said James

"Yeah..." Roy said.

"You guys never told me that!" he said pointing towards Havoc and Breda."

"Well, we weren't sure that your daddy would like us telling stories about him..." Havoc said.

"You're right, I don't like people telling about me." Roy said.

"I think we should be going now, right Havoc?"

"Yeah, time to go! No need to pay us!" they ran out the door.

"I'll finish putting him to bed, you can go get changed." Riza said walking into the room.

"Okay, g'night, James." He walked out of the room. Riza and James started laughing.

"You do know that they all changed the story, right?"

"Yeah, what really happened?" James said with a laugh.

"Well your daddy, Havoc, and I where walking in the hallway, and he said 'On the day I become fuehrer, all female officers are required to wear tiny miniskirts.' just randomly, for no reason."

"Is that why you were mad at daddy when he gave you your uniform?"

"That's none of your business, now we have to go to sleep now, okay?" she said while tucking her son in.

"Okay, G'night!"

Riza started to switch off the light when James said,

"Can Uncle Havoc and uncle Breda watch me again the next time you and dad go out?"


End file.
